Once in the arena I was given side reins and showed the "proper" way to fit them. The horses nose was pulled back behind the vertical, evenly on both sides. I was amazed at the tension on the side reins! The mares cheeks were already bulging beneath the straps and now her head was crammed against her chest. I was then ordered to lunge her, which by their definition was to make her go on a relatively small circle, and drive her until all the fight was out of her. I was once again in a state of shock.
Over the course of the next few weeks I learned that this was the norm. Before every ride each horse (regardless of age and training) was lunged in short side reins for at least 15 minutes to drive any resistance out of them. Once they were sufficiently tired we slapped a pair of draw reins on to ride with - to this day I hate those stupid draw reins with a passion!! Even after all this preparation work to wear out the horses the amount of resistance was amazing! Despite tight nosebands you could hear the horses grinding their teeth against the contact - never a good sign. And so many times they would try and shake their heads to free themselves from the tension or the draw reins! The riders' driving seat and legs combined with the noseband/draw reins created such tension many horses took to rearing or stopping all together. This was considered a normal training issue, and the reason we were told to always wear spurs and carry whips. Some horses just went slower and slower until they were spanked forward into relentless hand, and ridden until they were slick with sweat. These fancy horses still did all the tricks- tempis, pirouettes, half pass and piaffe. They were athletic! They could pull it off! But the amount of work it took to get it, and the lack of softness or even joy in the movements was glaring.
The grooves in my mares mouth were also the norm. These were formed from years of pressure of the bit on the horses' delicate gums. Once a week a "training bit"- aka a twisted wire snaffle, another torture device - was used to lighten the obviously heavy horses. This often lead to the creation of fresh grooves, or even bloody mouths. When this occurred we were told to switch back to the other bit for a day and coat the horses cheeks and tongues with Vaseline. Several of these expensive animals had tongue injuries, or would hang their tongues out after riding. With the nosebands so tight their cheeks bulged as their tongue was forced back into their mouths to avoid the painful pulling bit. I have never seen so many horses refusing to go forward, rearing up in protest in my life. And yet this is not the only place it happens. To this day, a driving seat and a harsh rein make me shudder!! If your horse is refusing to go forward off the lightest aid, please stop and consider what you are doing!!
Trail rides were allowed once a week during nice weather but these were just opportunities to school the horses out in the open. So many came back slick with sweat, panting and covered with whip and spur marks. Within a few days I began to dread the barn. Although Coach T had tons of experience and was honestly a lovely rider, I felt like anything I learned was being drowned out in all the negativity. His philosophy was explained to me one evening after a lesson: Dressage was now big business. These horses were all owned by sponsors who paid a lot of money for them and expected great things. They were bred for this. They must be pushed. There was a new way to ride and train that got a horse to Grand Prix much quicker then in other times. Yes, there were casualties, many actually. But the ones that made it were the strong ones worth the money and time. My goal, he informed me, was to find someone to sponsor me, to buy me these superstar horses, and to show as much as possible. It was the goal of all us average income (poor) riders, and it was reiterated by K and the other girls at the barn many times.
But who were the casualties? These ones that weren't strong enough to make it? I was shown several pictures of previous show horses who were now (at young ages of 12-14) either lame or "crazy". One who had been the up and coming super star who was now retired. He began freaking out at shows, and it escalated until he couldn't even be taken into an arena without furious shaking and sweating. He was now a trail horse. One lovely 4 year old mare broke down a mere 2 months after coming out of quarantine. Her lameness has stuck with her. Another 5 year old was on stall rest for another issue, that never really went away. He was sold off as a low level hunter. A number became "crazy" and were sold off to who knows where. So many horses made unsound, so many made angry at humans and our training.
Was this an isolated incident? Was I just at a dressage barn from hell? Unfortunately it was far more normal then I ever dreamed. I was at a week long show with the barn, as a groom and assistant, learning the ropes. Being back stage, and considered a mere nobody, has it perks. I stood with the other workers from other barns and countries and listened as they discussed the horses that were ridden in front of us. I saw several Olympic horse/rider combinations, several riders I had previously only seen in magazines. And the stories I heard only helped me realize I didn't belong in that world. That I simply didn't have it in me. Not all these trainers were horrible. Not at all! But the part that hit me was how it didn't matter in the show ring. The tortured horses at the barn I was at won as often as everyone else's. They were given top scores, and the judges praised the wonderful "classical training". Oh, if only one of those judges could have felt the grooves in the superstar mouth! If only they saw the injections, the medications that kept them going. If only these wonderful, forgiving animals could speak! I felt such enormous guilt.
So I packed up and headed home.
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